Break Free From Self-Betrayal

Mar 10

"Why do I keep doing the things I don’t want to do?"

If you’ve ever asked yourself this question, you’re not alone. The cost of self-betrayal is high—low self-esteem, dwindling confidence, self-hate, stress, anxiety, sadness, and even physical illness. At its core, self-betrayal is always rooted in fear.

What is Self-Betrayal?

Self-betrayal happens when we act in ways that contradict our values, needs, and authentic selves. It often stems from past experiences, fear-based conditioning, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. Over time, it leads to distress, frustration, and a deep sense of unfulfillment.

I know this firsthand.

In 2014, I retired early at 46 from a successful 20-year career at a major airline to fully dedicate myself to my first business, Womanars®, which I had launched in 2010. Womanars® was born out of sheer faith after my 2006 divorce. It was my calling—a mission to inspire, educate, and connect with women worldwide. While I had enjoyed my airline career, it didn’t feel as aligned or meaningful as the work I was doing with Womanars®.

But leaving was terrifying.

My airline job provided financial security and stability. The thought of giving that up scared me. Whenever I shared my desire to leave, I was met with concern or even disbelief. “Are you crazy?” people would ask.

For nearly two years, I ignored my heart’s calling. As a result, I felt increasingly unhappy, unmotivated, and stressed. I started getting sick more often. I found every excuse not to go to work. My body and soul were screaming at me to stop betraying myself.

Then, in 2014, the airline offered early severance packages. I knew this was my moment. If I didn’t take the leap, I might never do it. So, in June 2014, I signed the paperwork and stepped into the unknown.

I have never regretted that decision.

The moment I chose myself, I felt a weight lift. I was finally free. I had liberated myself from fear and stepped fully into my purpose. That day changed my life forever.

Breaking the Cycle of Self-Betrayal

Choosing yourself isn’t always easy. It takes courage to move through the fears of judgment, failure, financial instability, or rejection. But each time we stop betraying ourselves, we plant seeds of self-love, self-trust, and empowerment.

Self-betrayal can show up in many ways, such as:

Ignoring Your Needs: Neglecting your emotional, physical, or mental well-being.
People-Pleasing: Prioritizing others’ desires over your own.
Lack of Boundaries: Allowing others to overstep or disrespect your limits.
Staying in Unhealthy Relationships: Remaining in toxic dynamics that drain you.
Suppressing Emotions: Hiding your true feelings or opinions to avoid conflict.
Making Decisions That Go Against Your Values: Choosing paths that don’t align with your true beliefs.

When we stop betraying ourselves and start honoring our true desires, we begin living fully. Fear and love cannot coexist. The more we choose love, the less control fear has over our lives.

A Powerful Question to Ask Yourself

Whenever I feel unsure, I ask myself:

“What do I really want?”

Then, I check in to ensure I’m in spirit-mind-body alignment before making my next move.

How might fear be causing you to betray yourself—in your work, business, finances, health, or relationships? What would it look like to choose yourself instead?

Remember, every time you choose self-love over self-betrayal, you reclaim your power. And that is where true freedom begins.

Take the Next Step Toward Freedom

If you’re ready to break the cycle of self-betrayal and start living in full alignment with your true self, I invite you to book a private 1-1 session with me. Together, we’ll uncover the patterns holding you back, identify your deepest desires, and create a path toward self-trust and empowerment. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone—let’s take this step together. Schedule your session today.

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